For what it’s worth; you’ve made it through.

There should be a hangover for a heartbreak, don’t you think? And they should have a word for it, for simplicity, instead of calling it “heartbreak hangover”. A single word to explain that feeling of emptiness, not exactly numb, not really a pain—just a leftover of it, also not a joyful sentiment, not quiet warm, or cold, somehow a compliance, but definitely not acceptance.

• 

• 

• 

Bittersweet, without the bitterness and it’s not utterly sweet.

You know it’s over, and there is nothing you can’t do about it, but you still can’t put your finger on it. You feel like this is not the ending, this shouldn’t be the ending. It just doesn’t feel right for some reasons but then again, you don’t see how any of those reasons would be good enough for further explanation.

There is something odd about her absence, and you would like to keep it that way for a while. You do not wish for her presence, because just the thought of that shivers your spine and you don’t know what to do about it. You might break into pieces, but you wish her happiness—sometimes.

• 

• 

• 

It’s been a while now, and images come and go. Her habits that you learned back then is now yours to keep. You see her face in strangers you see one time and never again. Those places that once were “ours” now are just places you visit once in a while on dates only you both remember. Her favorite color is on your keychain, your t-shirt she wore once on that one rainy night is now in the back of your closet, sitting quietly. And her name sounds like childhood songs you remember all the lyrics from, though give you nothing but nostalgia.

It’s wild how conclusions grow shorter after a vast battle.

Apa yang lebih memilukan daripada cinta yang tidak terbalaskan?
Kehilanganmu, Summer